Nowhere

the mists lift
time left us behind
I find you
here sitting
thinking
always melancholy
you always do return
somehow
to tighten the
knot
that loosens

why do we live our
lives searching
for what is not of
this world
it never ends
tomorrow will come
and find you
another quest
I will still be here
waiting

and maybe in time
I will learn
not to miss
your vacant place
in my heart
but now there is
nowhere I can go
that will
take away my
memories of you

11.15.96

Cherry Trees

I see your
happiness
bubbling like
a spring fountain
your eyes dance
light as the day
Under the cherry trees
we lay
singing songs
we laugh our way
through
our little paradise

11.15.96

Writer’s Block

My dying blue irises on the window sill
valiantly standing tall in the wind
lasted barely four days
criss-cross the masking tape on the window
vanishing strings…ideas are born but they flee into the night
not yet, sleep has to wait
till words imprint themselves on this page
I wonder if a crystal blue rose
could hold the drizzle of an entire day
too much to hold my sorrow born of
clouds gathering in the horizon

please, please
while thought is still coherent
I hope to do this
write a profound poem on everything
action
this is all a front
for something ulterior, something I wouldn’t dream
of admitting to,
I am waiting with these words
even when I vowed I shouldn’t, decided not to
now for want of resolve, I write this litany of nothingness

the tinkle of a million imaginary glass bells in the wind
romance is dead; I watched it die and wept its passing
but more for myself, my
bonafide efforts to orchestrate something out of
nothing as the pretentious wind come knocking
bittersweet,
long ago I left my city of lights but that was then
nothingness…just here and now
as twilight shadows flicker on the barren page
the frosty moon laughs mockingly
I think … we think
the poem and I
agree it is time to stop

4.30.97

Gone before light

Spirals
the face in the dark maybe
could be must be
looming in the haze with tell-tale eyes burning deep
dreams are but landscapes through time
flying clouds on a thread masquerade of
masks we orchestrate our lives around

Breathe
the word that resonates
through these walls
where are you when I need you most?
Scents of the season hang in the air
the sweetness still a distant memory
while the poison arrow takes flight
misses the apple
a distant reality the mists take us to
unfolding into…

apprehension drawing
into the inner core drift far out
inside my mind twisted vines
closing up the maze, lost
losing the material world to grasp the ethereal
Want is a need that stands
between the safety of the nest and
oblivion
metamorphosis of principles beyond need

Just to bring sunshine into my life
is that all that you
can possibly conceive how could you
love without embracing the shadow
the other self that watches the play till her turn
the essence slips past your fingers
cries frail in the night
trailing like white scarves cut by the wind

the sea, always the sea
chased you just
stand in the stillness of night
feel the fingers reach to pluck a strand of one of your nine lives
cats eyes in the swirling violet storm clouds
choppy waters of the deep void where once
a fragmented heart beat
this ship could sink to stop
what I’ve started

Just a thought that never again
will I come this far only to turn back
but too close too soon
time draws near
the kindness of a stranger within us can mislead
Is it a question of deja vu or do I know this too well
windows of a past life still resonate
from the furthest recesses of space

How could the past touch me now
in this nowhere where time is no more
awaken the self that sleeps away her sorrows
and bring down the rain that
torrential waterfall that breaks away the barriers
Legacy of tears and fire fulfilled
did you exist just because
the only soul I have remain lost to this lifetime
Eternity is too long a time to hope to
tip the hourglass
start over
or maybe the ticking of the clock will cease
irresistible games we play at risk
you say you will risk anything
once upon a time it all ended
and now as the wind whipping at tangled hair
and complacent sea frothing at your bare feet
no game, none
just this growing chasm in between our worlds

Gone before light


4.17.97

In Hiding

Far and deep in these iron woods we stay
awhile
compressed silence in a nutshell
falling dusk shroud the winding rutted path
mapped out before us
complacent, we gingerly step
into these tracks
too big for a lifetime to fill
with lithium drops
in passivity we chain our dreams
gaze at the world outside with languid eyes
and frozen hearts to wound our way
b r o k e n
and dysfunctional around these
perfect steps we cannot forge
or like a rapidly flowing river
rush to covert the sea
these snow white paths bleached with
ideals
that long ago dared to step over the ledge and leave
the conventional
wisdom to its own age
the muse beckons
come forward with a handful of unfinished songs
a bunch of singularities a day
we stumble along looking for affirmation in
the absence of security
the champion’s theme to mask
the blur of a world spinning its way in
to oblivion
shrill and unrelenting, expectation screeches her way
forcing us to admit we are lost
where are you going, where are you going now?
4.30.97